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schiesse war die schnell Oo war aber sua hamma

Im drunk and taking a shit while Crystal Bowersox looses and my girlfriend cries about it! Yeah i’m fat i know, i know.

: web.mac.comAnita O’Day was (she died last year) one of those truly greatjazz-vocalists who inspire me to sing along. There are two reasons for this: the freedom of her delivery of well-known jazz-standards (especially while scatting) and her “camp style”, which is probably best expressed in one of her titles: “Who Cares”. May she rest in peace! She will always be with us in her songs.

Bobby Sparks on organ, Quamon Fowler on tenor saxophone, and Lumark Gulley on drums at the Scat Jazz Lounge

Max Schiesse and Das Foot do a number on Squeeze’s classic “Tempted”

I am tired of seeing all of these self help guides from the sex in the city experts who feel that men can be trained, brainwashed, and made into the perfect being. This is not and will not happen. When a boy hits age 3, that is his personality for the rest of his life. So moms, get on raising a good man as soon as possible. If the boy is funny, calm, polite, patient and happy by age 3 then moms, you managed to change a man.

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Fortunately or unfortunately, women are not the same way. They change their character constantly during the day. From aggressive business lady at the office to ignorant ditz on the side of the road flirting with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket, women can got from a full 360 at any moment. So what a man to do? Train, manipulate, educate, dream? Hell no! We fell for the woman for some reason or another. How do we keep ourselves from getting pulled into this shit cyclone that is an hour long conversation about how we fucked up? By understanding these cardinal rules that every woman every born has represented. Women, keep reading, you will be surprised at how accurate, realistic and un-sexiest I really am 

Rule 1) Tell a woman she is pretty. They love that! Everyday in their existence from age 12 up the goal of a gal is to be prettier then the next. 9/10 they aren’t even trying to impress any guys. It’s bizarre but true. If a gal could be reassured that you think she is pretty, she is like putty in your hands. Plain and simple

Rule 2) She’s going to bitch about being cold. Poor circulation, iduno, I’m not a doctor. Women are ALWAYS COLD. I don’t get it. I remember one time I was near hypothermic and I still continued watching the hockey game. All shivering like a bastard

Rule 3) When you are walking together at the mall or in the grocery store, and especially if you are having a conversation while walking, she will stop without notice and make a B-line to something that caught her eye and leave you to continue walking without notice. You look like an idiot holder her purse while you are talking to the wall. Lovely.

Rule 4) She’s going to cost you money. See that bank account. It’s getting smaller and smaller. Not necessarily because it’s a joint account, but its because of all the gas you spend driving to her around or that perfect ring she wanted, or that romantic weekend alone. Holy shit.

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Rule 5) She is going to make you late. This one is unreal. I was once late for my friends wedding because she couldn’t get her shit together. I literally walked into the church with the wedding party and took my seat. 1 o’clock does not mean 1:45.

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So gents, this is my wisdom passed on to you. It took me years of searching to find out these secrets and this humble knowledge is gold. It’s like that garage sale found instruction manual for your grandpas old boat that you have been fugeing with for the past while. Knowledge is power.

Ladies, it’s not too late to change. If you expect your man too, why can’t you?

First off the music in both versions are the same. However, there is a difference in pitch and fine tuning. SCAT: Opening intro has that exciting “Man your battlestations” mood and focuses alot on the co-ed heroes. The heroes are named Arnold and Sigourney (apparently a tribute to Arnold Schwarzeneggar’s Sci Fi films and Sigourney Weaver’s Alien series.), you can choose between either of the two to play as. Also has a stage map and a rather decent DPCM voice clip. Last but not least: The gameplay is easier to handle. The option pods automatically move no matter what, and the bullets the option pods fire are bigger and more powerful. Final Mission: The opening intro had apocalyptic overtones and may have been too traumatizing for younger players in the USA. The gameplay is alot less forgiving and emphasizes more on aggressive playing. The bullets from your option pods are the same as your basic shot, and your vulnerability is increased based on the fact that it’s tough to maintain the balance of your option pods.

One day I met a guy through a guy through a friend and then went back to first guy which it did not work out so I went on to the second guy. Don’t ever try this folks cause the most valuable lesson you learn is don’t shit where you eat.  Anyhoo, the guy had some great stellar qualities-was romantic, knew people at the best clubs, go for long drives, the whole bit. Now you may ask what is wrong with that? The jigga did not know how to dress!!!! He thought that a safety pin holding together a hole in his shirt (a black one mind you so it stood out more) was cool to do.

I thought nothing over it the first night. But, after the third night over a candle light dinner, the silver of the pin just kept on glaring in the light. I knew that if this man was going to stay in my life the jigga needed a makeover-at his expense of course, what else? Listen to me. Always tell your man what you are thinking cause God forbid that he will have to guess. Most men, unless they are John Edwards, the psychic, need you to tell them. And if you don’t, guess what happens? The bitch will show up to a dinner with your friends and guess what he will wear THE SAME RIPPED UP BLACK TURTLENECK!!! This is just a-for-instance. But, can you imagine your shame when your friend Morgane notices and pulls you a side to give you a talk about his financial situation cause he can’t afford a new turtleneck, when they are sold at Walmart for $5.00. Also, a-for-instance too.

Was this a ball breaker? No.*SIGH* Was I going to confront him? Maybe.

So after 3 months and about 100++ times of sleeping together (not too much, spread apart, you know I believe on keeping it nice and tight!) I looked over at his door and what was hanging up, but that awful black turtleneck! I had to do something and I was obsessed.

I blurted out, “I can’t believe you wore that thing on that dinner with my friends. Don’t you have any other friggin turtlenecks to wear???” Okay, it didn’t come out of my mouth as such. It went something like this-”I would love to spend the rest of the day with you, but I have to go to the mall, to pick up some Nick Lacheys (say it slowly nic-kla-cheys or negligee) do you want to take me and then afterward we can come back and I can give you a fashion show?” Now who prey tell you is gonna say no to an array of titays and big bum served on a fine piece of china.

So we went to the mall.

I in a cute ensemble and him in a friggin dutty-looking t-shirt and dungarees. Dungarees!!! So me and Farmer Ted casually went into a man’s shop that had 2 for $20 table full of tops and I picked up a shirt and went absolutely bat-shit! I told him that he would look so A-M-A-Z-I-N-G in this and this one and in this seone. You see the key was going to the cheaper tables to weigh out how much he could afford and I knew this nigga could afford a lot cause he had no baby mama dramas, no kids hanging from the nipples, no parents to pay rent to blah, blah, blah. And as he tried on some stuff I quickly scan the store for some more finds and kept on handing him stuff.  Jigga did not know what to expect! So overwhelmed all the sudden the man stumbled to the cashier and paid for his stuff and we went tra-la-la-la-la down to more stores.

And yes, when we went home I modeled some choice pieces for him-which I paid for myself! Thank you very mucha. I thought, “Good, work L”!

And when I did see him have the audacity to put that turtleneck over his head yet again this time I casually said,

“Honey do you need me to sew that for you??”

“Why?” he asked.

“Maybe it is the gaping hole and the black little lint balls around the neck”

“Shit, you know how long I keep putting it off, I didn’t really notice it anymore.”

“Riiight,” I said, “And that’s why you chose to wear it for my friend’s dinner?”

“Sweetie, I am sorry. You should have told me. It won’t happen again. Let’s have make-up sex.”

Otay, so it didn’t actually happen that way. what really happen was….

“I hate that shirt. Don’t you see the big gaping hole in the shoulder with the pin in it!”

“I forgot about that.”

“Riiight, please throw it out it doesn’t look good on you anymore, and you are waay too hot to step out in that rag anymore….actually maybe you should wear it cause then girls won’t look at you (you like that eh, always build them up).”

“OH no, I will throw it out right away.”

“We’ll if you insist (make them think it was their idea).”

“Let’s have make-up sex.”

“I can’t I’m sore cause you are SOO BIG (yeah riiight) and you’re late for work.”

So the moral of the story is if you can’t tell your partner what you are thinking you are screwed. Screwed, I tell you!! You AND Farmer Ted.

So I go in peace and remember when I was at my most depressed and in my bed for over a year my mother pushed back my bangs and said,”Mama, don’t feel bad about where you are now, cause the crazy people carry the good pills.”

Ich schiesse erst mit nem kumpel cubi , dann mach ich neue karten mars unsicher

This song first appears on the 1995 single Nagekunari Waga Yoru no Fantasy and years after on the 2004 compilation Mother of All the Best. With no doubt is one of the best covers ever made! The original was recorded by Yuki Saori.